First they made instant film go away and ruined everyone’s memories. Maybe if Polaroid film was still a thing there wouldn’t be so many girls sexting their teen boyfriends all the time. They could just mail them polaroid nudies using forever stamps and not worry so much about ending up on the internet. Because really, who uses a scanner ever? And when all the millennium babies grow up how will they know what to shake it like without an apt metaphor?
Now Polaroid has named Lady Gaga their new creative director???????????????
Maybe she is the only one with the MONSTER BALLS to return Polaroid to all of its former glory against fierce rivals the Kodiak Bears.
And a penis. Or most of one.
PS! Ladies feel free to mail me your Polaroid instant film nudies (or if you are boycotting polaroid for some reason I will accept all other forms of film as well). Just E-mail me or tweet at me for my address. Also feel free to send your digital nudies to titties(at)totalbro(dot)com.
